Friday, August 7, 2009

The Great Disappearing Act

It's been a long long time since I've posted. Truth is I didn't have anything to share. With mom in the hospital yet again and then when she came home she was in such pain, I simply didn't feel like watching what we ate. We ate too much take out, too much junk and too many nights of everyone scrounging for something to eat. Even when I could get myself in the mood to cook and feed us all better, another bout of depression would hit and I just couldn't do it. With mom out of commission, and me unable to drive that left Cindy to buy groceries and in this heat it's been hit or miss. More just picking up what we had to have for a few days and unfortunately that included a great deal of convenience food (something I've never liked).

She had dr. appointment after dr. appointment, test after test and no one could find out why her legs hurt her so badly. Her home nurse visited 2x a week and her PT 2x a week and neither of them could figure it out either. She got to the point she was sleeping all the time and was very very restless, talking and moving a great deal in her sleep. I urged and fussed until she agreed to get an appointment with her primary doctor to talk about having another sleep study done. But before she could make the appointment, Vickie (her home nurse) came for her visit and found she'd gained 7 pounds in one day. (Hmmm why didn't she tell me that?) She called and got her in to see the Dr. 20 minutes later. Back in the hospital she went. She had fluid around her heart and they put her on a lasix drip immediately. After a couple days they got her balanced on oral meds and then after only 4 days (sarcasm), she got to come home. Guess what? No more leg pain. She's doing very well now. She's still on the walker, but she's walking a great deal more and getting out of the house a little. She feels better and has been taking on cleaning projects, buy groceries (if someone takes hers, still can't drive yet).

Now she's on a strict sodium reduced diet along with fluid restrictions to keep the fluid from building up again. Now I need to learn how to cook salt-free. Boy you wouldn't believe just all the things that have sodium in them!!! I mean even ketchup and mustard have salt. So I have another challenge on my hands.

It's been nearly two years now since this all started. Since the first diagnosis that she needed to get the valve replaced immediately, finally getting it done in January, all the complications and setbacks since. We're really hoping this last trip to the hospital, is just that, her last trip. Seems every time she comes home she's doing so well until suddenly she's not, and then she ends back in the hospital. We counted it up and she's spent nearly twice as much time in a hospital or one rehab center or other than she has at home this year.

We've all been under so much stress for so long, that I think we've all forgotten how to just relax. My sleeping patterns are worse than ever. I'm having awful bouts of depression and all this rain we've had has had my allergies in full swing.

Cindy bless her heart has not only had all the stress of dealing with mom's health but work as well. It finally got to be too much for her and she had to take off for about a week and "run" away from home. She just needed some time to not worry about anyone or anything but herself. Now if she could have just stop calling home to make sure we were ok, she might have relaxed a little more…giggle. He knees and ankles are giving her problems again.

Mom feels so bad for having put us through this, not that there is anything to be sorry for. But we all live with guilt when it comes to the way our life effects others, even more for those closest to us.

I'm so not posting this for sympathy; it's why I didn't post it while it was all going on. But I did want to explain why I seem to have just abandoned both blogs. Sometimes life just takes all of our attention!

Hopefully, I can get refocused, re-energized, and inspired to get back with it. I just need to figure out how to cook low carb, cheap, and salt free…giggle so the focus is going to have to change a little, but I'll do it. God's been with us all the way through this and he'll guide me through this latest hurdle too. One thing is for sure, canned foods (not that we use them often anyway) are almost all out of the question at this point. No more canned beans, I'll have to make sure I always have cooked beans on hand. On the plus size they're much cheaper anyway!!!!

That's where we are now and I promise to try and post more often. Adding recipes, but with fewer pictures, I still don't have a camera and my phone is iffy at best…giggle

I hope you're all doing well, that your summer is going well and the heat isn't too horrible where you are.

Take care until next time,



~Oct said...

YAY VICKI! I'm so happy to hear from you again and so happy that they finally found out what was causing your mom such pain and that she is on the mend. Looking forward to reading more from you soon! I missed you!

Vikki said...

Hey girl,
Thank you so much, I've missed you too. I've tried several times to access your new blog with no luck, can you email it to me again?
Love the new pic, you look so pretty!
hugs and blessings,

~Oct said...

It's completely public again.

Thanks. :)

Jackie said...

Sorry you've been through all this again.
Hopefully things will improve for you all now.
And now you've got another challenge! Cut out the salt!
I wish I could send you someone to take care of you for a while.


Vikki said...

Thank you so much Jackie,
We're actually doing ok. No one bursts into tears at the drop of a hat any more, that's a great improvement...giggle
Have a wonderful weekend and my you and your family be blessed with peace and joy.

Patty said...

I'm so glad to read your post. And you are absolutely right -- sometimes life just takes all you've got just to live and get through the days. I understand.
It's great that things are much better now. Now if you can just unkink those muscles and breathe a little.
I hope and pray that things just continue to improve for all of you. Give Cindy a big hug from me, and consider yourself hugged as well!

Vikki said...

Thank you so much Patty, you're such a good friend. Mom and Cindy says hi and to tell you we're are saying prayers for you and yours (Steve and the fur babies)

Hope you're having a great weekend,